Your wedding day is supposed to be one of the best days of your life, but what if you weren’t allowed to be married. If you define yourself as LGBTQ+ getting married will be really hard if not impossible in most countries. Only a handful of countries worldwide have legalized same-sex marriage. There are people all over the world who are afraid to come out because in their countries being gay is against the law. Worldwide there is something like 12 countries where being involved in same-sex acts can result in the death penalty. Data from the 2015 national Youth Risk Behavior Survey found that 10% of LGBT students were threatened or injured by a weapon on school property. For some people this might not seem like a big deal, but those 10% of people will be affected for life. Being bullied at school migt be the difference between them getting their fairytale dream of marriage or of them living with the ongoing feeling that they were weird or different.

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  1. The starting points are very direct and powerful 🙂 Towards the end it seems as though you get less unsure of your point though.

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  2. I really liked your paragraph especially your statement which was really strong. To improve it I would recommend that you take out the ‘something like’ in the sentence where you say that there is 12 countries that allows same sex marriage. Also try and stay on the same topic as you moved into bullying at the end. Overall it was pretty good 🙂

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